Worth It
by Internationalsassgirl
Summary: I love him. I killed for him. I let other use me for him. I've given everything a dhampir woman could give him. But he doesn't see. After Dimitri turned back into a dhampir again, that's when everything got turned upside down. That's when my life changed forever.


I followed the rules because of him. I broke the rules because of him. I cried because of him. I did everything because of him. He was my everything. My soul. My Heart. My life. My hopes. My fears.

When Lissa changed Dimitri back into a Dhampir, I thought- I thought everything was going to be back to normal. Me in his arms once more as if nothing bad had happened, but I was so wrong, very wrong. I ended up being so far away from his arms. I ended up thrown away like a piece of recycled paper he didn't want anymore.

"Love fades, mine has." Gosh, it'd make a great heartbreak quote. Those four little words killed me. I have watched him walk to me. I have watched him fight for me. I have watched him taken away from me. I have watched him come back, but not to me. Never have I ever thought of watching him walk out of my life. There's only his shadow in my heart. A shadow waiting for his return.

After all the heartbreak, I gave up on trying to reach for him. My hand was right in front of his face, but he did not take it. He decided to walk away from it. He decided to walk away from me. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt so much that I almost choked on my own tears. Apparently, Dimitri and I killing Galina did no good. I left the court and journeyed away into the world. While I was doing so, the stirgoi followed me. They wanted to kill Dimitri and find out how Lissa turned Dimitri back. But I loved him too much to let him get killed. Instead, I made a deal with them. I'll kill whoever they want me to kill as long as it's not Dimitri and Lissa. And so, I was a murderer. I killed and killed and killed for him.

"Louisa Conta?"

"Yes, dear Rose. Louisa Conta." Felix the stirgoi leader said.

I shook my head and said, "But it's at court! I have never killed anybody on the court's ground."

"There's always a first time, love." Felix is from England, so he has those English accents that girls swoon over. But not me 'cause I will always have one man in my heart.

I sighed. I'll do it because I love him. I had convinced the stirgoi that getting revenge by killing Dimitri isn't worth it. It's better if I'm on their side. To protect him the best I can. I'm just afraid of seeing him already moved on with someone else. I just have to be strong. I can't go back now. It's way too late for me. I chose to be here. I have to live with my decision.

I traveled to court and got that in daytime. Most moroi are asleep which is good. Less audience. I wore my usual black shirt and slacks. I look like a guardian. What's dangerous is I might run into my old friends and they will recognize me. Exactly what I don't need.

I walked in the direction of the guesthouse and thank goodness that the way there was empty. I went as fast and as quiet as I could. I also have to avoid cameras. I slid on my black latex gloves. I found Louisa Conta's room. I picked the lock and slid in as quiet as I could. I see Louisa asleep in her bed looking so at peace. I don't know why the stirgoi want me to kill her, but it's not my job to ask questions.

I took out my knife and said, "Forgive me, Louisa." I deeply slashed her throat. Blood gushed out and her eyes widened. Fear was visible. She only struggled, but did not make a sound. A single tear drop ran down her face as her soft hand touched my arm. I saw an engagement ring on her finger and tried my best not to feel guilty.

I got out of court without being noticed. I drove back to the mansion the stigoi owns not very far from the court. I'm surprised that the guardians haven't found it yet. It makes me think that someone at court is also working for the evil vampires, but the question is who.

"Fast as a lightning. You never fail me." Felix said with so much humor I could almost see it in the air around him.

I shrugged and said, "She was engaged to be married. You knew that didn't you?"

"Of course, I did. But your job is to take down whosoever I tell you to take down. Just be grateful that I didn't ask you to take down your mother."

"My mother has nothing to do with this! We had a deal. Stick to it!"

"I sure will. I'm not exactly the one with the heartbreak here. What I'm worried about is you changing sides. You can be my weapon or their weapon. Sometimes, I think you're too good for a girl."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Sometimes, I think you talk too much for a dead guy."

Felix chuckled. "You can be very amusing at times."

"Can I go back to my room?" I asked wanting to be out of his sight as soon as possible. Today at court got me worried enough. A part me hoped that maybe, just maybe Dimitri would be the one to figure out that I was the murderer, but he would hate then. Oh, snap it, Rose! He already hates me anyway. And why am I still protecting him even though he doesn't really deserve it, because deep down I'm wishing he would try to hunt me down or stop me. I want him to come after me like the way I went after him, but look at the results. Heartbroken. Used by the stirgoi. Lost my guardianship. Lost my friends. Lost everything. I'm stuck here day by day as if I was a robot waiting for a boy to love or care about me. Why would someone love a broken toy. I know being here is stupid, but I feel as if it is my responsibility to protect him no matter what.

His last words made me sad more than angry. I felt disappointed, maybe I was expecting too much from him. I should have known that he would feel guilty and finally push me out of his life. But I was confident that he would know that I truly forgive him. I love him. I would never hate him, not in a million years. But I was let down. That's when I found out how fragile my heart was. That's when I realized that I was the only one who was dreaming of true love while everybody else overlooked it. But I can't go back now, I'm stuck in the deal. Can't do much about it, except for follow the orders. Can't go back to court where I have no job, no future, no nothing.

I sworn when I came into this deal, I thought of only him, no one else. Just him. Was I being selfish? Did I forget to love myself? Maybe I wanted to be loved so much that I forget myself. But every time I close my eyes, there's always him. I love him. I forgive him. Why can't he trust me! Now, it's just too late.

Felix nodded and used his vampire speed to open the door for me. I left the living room with a quiet thanks to Felix. I walked upstairs passing a few stirgoi. Thanks to Felix, he ordered all the stirgoi in the mansion not to touch me or in other words; not to turn me into their meal. I found my room at the end of the corridor. I twisted the knob and closed the door. I sat on my bed and thought of Felix's plan. 3 months ago, I killed Bianca Voda, or should I say Princess Bianca Voda- a counsel member. 2 months ago, I killed George Lazar-another counsel member. But why did he want Louisa Conta dead? She's not the eldest Lazar. She's just ordinary. I quickly went to my laptop across the room. My laptop has all the files of every moroi and dhampir. I typed in my username and password. Logged in!

I typed in Louisa Conta.

 **NAME AND TITLE:LADY LOUISA MAE CONTA**

 **BIRTHDAY: 16 APRIL 1992**

 **MOTHER: LUCILLE FRANCESCA CONTA (FORMERLY DASHKOV)**

 **FATHER: MICHAEL ANDREW CONTA**

 **OCCUPATION: DOCTOR/SCIENTIST**

 **WORKPLACE: COURT HOSPITAL**

 **CHILDREN:-**

 **SIBLINGS:-**

 **PATIENTS UNDER CARE**

 **KATHERINE HARRINGTON(CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS)**

 **DIMITRI BELIKOV (CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS)**

I clicked on Dimitri's name and it brought up another file. I never knew that Louisa was the one who tested Dimitri. There was a form to show results, but in each box was:

 **RESULTS UNKNOWN**

Results unknown? How could that be? They took his blood and triple checked it. Something's fishy here, and I wanna find out what it is. I have a feeling Felix still wants to find out what turned Dimitri back into a dhampir again. But if he wanted to find out from Louisa, I'm pretty sure she's quite dead from the looks of it. I remember about 3 weeks ago, Felix had a meet-up with someone. Maybe that 'someone' is Louisa. I think she wouldn't tell Felix what turned Dimitri back from stirgoi, and Felix hates it when he doesn't get what he wants. And so he knocked her of the grid. That son of a gun!

I heard heavy knocks on my door. I quickly pushed the escape key twice and walked to the door. There stood Jer-Miah, he was tall, but thick. He looked like a boxer championship. He was actually the most humanly stirgoi of all the group. Don't ask me how and why or what, 'cause I don't even know the answers myself.

"Hey, Jer-Miah. What's brings you here?" I asked sounding a lot more friendly than I was to the other stirgoi.

He gave me a small smile. He's the only one that doesn't have that evil look in his eyes, but don't make him angry. "Hey, Rose. The boss wants to see you. He says it's urgent."

I frowned. "Oh. Okay, I'll be down soon. Thanks for coming."

He nodded and disappeared to downstairs. I turned off my laptop and quickly went back to downstairs. I found the living room looking messy as ever. Couches ripped into shreds. Lamps all broken. Yikes.

Felix was standing there breathing heavily in the middle of the room. Uh-oh.

"Felix?" You see, I was the only who was allowed to call him by his name. Speaking of names, I don't even know his last name.

He turned to me with his fiery crimson red eyes. "Spirit." He said softly.

"What?"

"Spirit. The power that Vasilisa Dragmir posses. That is-what turned Dimitri back to a dhampir, isn't it?" He said angrily as if someone has knocked him off his own grid. I gulped and walked closer.

"Yes, but we have a deal, Felix. I kill whosoever you want me to kill, but not _him_ and _her_." I said firmly. But soon kind of regretted. Felix lunged at me, pushing me up the wall by my throat. His hand was an iron grip. I was gasping for air.

"BRING ME VASILISA! BRING HER TO ME OR I WILL KILL YOUR LOVER BOY!" Felix shouted. Everyone stopped moving and watched. I winced when he let go of me. I landed on the wooden floor. I tried to calm my racing heartbeat.

I glared at Felix's back as he stood not very far from me. I didn't want to go through this again. I didn't want to choose. Former best friend or former boyfriend.

Jer-Miah came and helped me up. I was afraid that Felix was going to turn around rip his head off for helping me. But instead, Felix turned to me and said, "There is an upcoming ball for Queen Tatiana's birthday. Their theme is gold and white. Go to that ball, and get the princess, bring her back to me. Do you understand?"

I sighed and said, "I thought you were giving me a choice."

"I believe I know who you will choose." Felix talked back.

"She was once my best friend. Plus, Dimitri will be there too. He's her guardian He'll be guarding her." I said my voice shaking. Felix shrugged.

He came closer to me and said, "Don't worry, love. You have 3 months and 2 weeks to prepare yourself."

And I am doomed.

 ** _Another chapter will be up soon. Please review and tell me what you think? I'm sorry if there are some grammar mistakes. English is not my first language or native language. Please don't be too harsh._**

 ** _Thank you for reading!_**

 ** _XOXO_**

 ** _Iris_**


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